Cabin fever and horny.

Posted in Daddy/babygirl, Let's talk about sex..., my thoughts by essence @ Mar 26, 2009 - Comments (0)

i’ve not had a busy week work-wise, and i’m bored. The weather has not been cooperating, it’s been downright miserable, i have cabin fever and well … just downright stir crazy. i am sooooooo ready for spring. i’m just annoyed with how long this winter has been.

Daddy has been busy working away, clients, new clients… i’m so proud of Him. He said to me last night, “baby, do I work too much?” “Sometimes, but i know You have a lot going on and You recognize that it, and that’s what is important.”

i try not to be a nuisance, but damn i’m bored and well… i’m horny too lol i can’t think of anything i want to do more than fuck my Daddy… well winning millions of dollars would be up there too. BUT i love fucking my Daddy.

He calls me a seductress, a horny cunt, a bitch… and well, i want Him to throw me down, hold me down and fuck me all the more. i want Him to fuck me from behind, i want Him to hold me against the wall, i want Him to fuck me silly and then fuck me some more. i want Him to tease me, bring me to the edge only to tell me to hold on, make me squirm and wimper, beg to cum for Him. Then i want Him to fuck my ass and make me completely His all over.

Am i a bad girl for wanting this so? *grins*

Life is busy

Posted in Daddy/babygirl, Dark days, my thoughts by essence @ Mar 15, 2009 - Comments (0)

i think that’s the best way to keep getting through day by day… staying busy. Business is booming, i keep busy doing things with my kids, i really enjoy them. If life gets topsy turvy, i have them and they keep me grounded. We have been diving into alot of projects together and having alot of fun.

Some of my pain, i keep tucked away. i have felt very vulnerable of late… it is hard for me to write of such feelings…

i want my reconnection with Daddy, it was broke for a bit. We need to heal, communication is such an important key. We do have a very special kind of love, and i want to get back on that track. we need to get back on that track… and work together.

Stop Teasing..

Posted in Daddy/babygirl, Let's talk about sex..., Submission by essence @ Mar 3, 2009 - Comments (0)

“you’ve been teasing Me for about 3-4 days now. It’s time to stop teasing your Daddy.” He is unzipping His pants and by His look i knew i would be on my knees and this time i wouldn’t be getting up until the job was done.

You see, i had been sucking Daddy’s cock, in the shower, in the office, in the kitchen and just sucking, getting Him hard and stopping, with Daddy telling me i was bad for teasing Him. He would say He’d collect later that night. Only to our disappointment, i’d fall asleep early when He was still working downstairs. To doing it again the next day, and the next day….

So after reading my post this morning, i was told enough teasing and that it was time to suck my Daddy’s cock like a good girl.

Where was i? oh yes, Daddy unzipping His pants and i am down on my knees between His legs, sucking His cock… in our office. “you’ve been teasing me for a few days now baby. So you like sucking Daddy’s cock, then suck it.”

That’s just what i did too. i sucked His cock and i finished too!

Then Daddy was ready to start His day and off i went to work…

Sleeping with Daddy

Silently i creep into Daddy’s room, crawling into bed beside Him. i whisper “Daddy, i’m cold tonight, can i sleep with You?” “My baby is cold tonight? Snuggle Me baby and I’ll warm you up.” Pulling me close to Him, the warmth of His body against mine. It feels good.

“you know baby, if you sleep with Daddy, what is Daddy’s first rule?”
“i have to sleep naked” i can’t look Him in the eye, shyness takes over. i take off my tshirt.

“Panties too baby…you know better” He tugs at them. i slip those off and quickly get under the covers.

“you know baby, I will make you do naughty things.” Daddy says. “What kind of things Daddy?”, i reply, all of a sudden feeling very shy, and i feel a butterfly jump in my tummy.

“Like play with Daddy’s penis”, He says. i hide my face in His chest and whisper, “but i like playing with Daddy’s penis, is that bad?”

“It is baby, but it’s our secret, right?” he breaths into my ear. i softly respond “yes Daddy, i’ve not told anyone.” “Good girl.”

He pulls me closer to Him, taking my hand and putting it on His penis. i feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “Do it like this baby.” He takes my hand showing me how to stroke His cock. Taking my hand and wrapping it around His shaft, He shows me how to stroke Him as i feel how hard He is becoming.

i hide my face a bit. “No baby, look at Me.” i look up at Him, feeling my cheeks become red. “How do you like Daddy’s cock?” i murmur a bit…”it’s nice Daddy.” i feel His hand smack my ass. “Speak up when you answer Me baby.” “i like my Daddy’s cock, it feels nice in my hand, and it’s getting harder Daddy.”

“What does your Daddy expect you to do when you make it hard baby?” Making sure i look at Him and speak loud enough for Him to hear me. “Daddy likes me to put His penis in my mouth and suck on it.” “mmmm My baby remembers well… Good girl.”

i start to move to do this but Daddy pushes me back on the bed. “Not yet baby, I’m going to make you beg to suck Daddy’s cock tonight.” He begins to pull at my nipples. It hurts a bit, but instantly i feel a stirring and i don’t want Him to stop. He kisses me and moves to my neck, biting me. His hand starts to move down my tummy.

“Has my baby been good and not touched herself?” my mind races, i think back over the last few days. “No Daddy, You told me i couldn’t.” His hand reaches my smooth pussy. “I see my baby has been keeping My pussy, just as Daddy likes it.” He moves His mouth down to my nipples and sucks one in, biting it. i jump a bit from His teeth around my nipple. His fingers finding His sweet pussy wet.

“My baby is getting excited.” i draw in my breath as He plunges His fingers inside me, and He rubs my clit with His thumb. A moan escapes my lips. His fingers probing, His teeth finds my nipple again. He nibbles on it, stopping short to suck in my nipple. my body jumps.

His fingers inside me, working His magic, my body curving underneath His hands. Daddy pulls back, slaps the inside of my thighs, “Open them wider”, grabbing a leg and opening them wider. “baby, do you know what this is right here?” His fingers are back inside me, stroking deep, upward. i shake my head no. “It’s what is called a G-spot, hows does it feel baby?” escaping my lips, in a soft voice full of lust now…”it feels really good Daddy.”… breathless.. i feel the wetness between my legs, Daddy plays me like His guitar. Strumming me, i feel His every chord deep in my soul. i reach for His cock. i feel how hard it is.

“Does baby want something?” i am lost in His fingers, His voice, the heat of His body next to mine. i whimper, i am putty in His hands. “What was that baby?” “i want to explode Daddy” “you mean you want to cum baby?” “oh yes Daddy, please may i?” “Yes baby, cum for your Daddy.” i release and explode with His fingers inside me, my pussy contracting around them.

i can’t take it, i crave to have Him inside me now. “Daddy please can i suck on Your cock?” His fingers feel like they are going deeper inside me, the heat i feel, i am consumed, and more than anything i want His cock in my mouth. i want to feel how hard it is, and i want to take Him deep into my mouth. “What’s that baby?” “please please Daddy i need to have Your cock in my mouth.” “mmmm My baby sounds hungry.”

Daddy lets me go, lays back and i immediately get down on my knees, taking His cock into my hands. i stick out my tongue and lightly lick the head of His cock. “mmmm baby is gonna tease me a bit? is that wise?” i softly suck on the head of His cock. He grabs me and pulls me over on top of Him. “I need to taste that lil sweet pussy of mine” Pulling my hips down onto His face. “Daddy loves when His baby lays on top of Him.” He pulls my pussy down onto His mouth, as His tongue starts to lick at my juices. i feel like a puddle.

i take His cock deep in my mouth as i feel His tongue plunge deep into my pussy. i feel my body start to tense again, and i can’t hold still. His tongue attacks my clit, and i feel a bolt go through me and i explode on His tongue. He starts licking my pussy up again. Sucking His cock, taking Him deeper inside, i swirl my tongue around His shaft. Daddy has trained me well, i know how He loves His cock sucked by His baby. Daddy is fucking me with His tongue. i can’t help but meet every thrust of His tongue.

i feel His fingers move, opening and exploring me. “What’s this baby?” i feel His fingers pressing, opening me… extremely shy now. i feel so small. Breathlessly i say…”it’s my ass Daddy.” “Whose ass?” i feel His hand come down on it. “It’s Your ass Daddy, You own it.” “What can Daddy do with that ass?” “Anything He wants” “That’s right and what does Daddy like to do with it?” i feel His hand spank it again. i feel myself getting wetter.

“Daddy likes to put His fingers in it, sometimes His tongue and He likes to put His cock in it, and fuck it.” “What does my baby like?” i reply softly, so shy when He asks me questions like this. “i like when You do all of those things Daddy.” “My baby is a naughty girl, good girl.” i feel His fingers go inside me again, getting them wet as He turns us onto our sides, He opens my legs wider, and i feel His finger start to enter my ass. i almost purr at this, i take His cock in deeper then. Sucking His cock, using my tongue, moving my hand with mouth, His cock in and out of my mouth.

His mouth finds my clit and sucks it in, swirling His tongue around, it’s like electricity going through my body. His finger fucking my ass. i can’t take it..”Daddy.. i’m going to cum..” “Give it to Me baby, i want it.” His pace goes faster and He is pulling at my clit. i am in a frenzy now as i explode and my body shivers and shakes. i say with urgency “Fuck me Daddy.” “My baby need fucking?” “God yes Daddy, i need Your cock inside me.”

Daddy flips me onto my back, pulling me to the end of the bed, throwing my legs over His shoulders, pulling my hips to the edge. He enters me, deep, taking Him all in. He leans forward, grabbing my hands pulling them above my head. i am pinned under Him as He is driving His cock deep inside me.

“Is this what you needed?” “Yes Daddy.” “you like fucking baby?” “Yes i do Daddy.” He is looking into my eyes. “How come?” i still feel bashful when He asks me these things. “Because it feels good Daddy.” “And you’re a naughty girl, aren’t you baby.” “Yes Daddy, i’m a naughty girl.” Daddy starts fucking me harder, deeper. my knees are touching my shoulders and my legs are bent up over His shoulders and He has my hands pinned above my head. i can’t move and i’m on fire.

He leans down sucks on my ear and begins to bite me, this sends me over the edge. i begin to cum and Daddy pumps His hard cock into me. He pulls out of me, releasing me and again flips me onto my stomach pulls my ass in the air, i feel something cool run down my ass. “Daddy’s gonna fuck His ass now.” i feel the head of His cock start to enter me. Daddy is slow and gentle and i relax as He strokes my back. He enters me more and i feel myself relax around Him, taking Him in. He goes deeper, until He fills me up. He holds me there, stroking my back. He begins to move inside me. Fucking my ass. He reaches up and grabs my long ponytail. and starts fucking me good.

“baby, reach down and play with your clit.” i do as i am told. “Feel good baby.” Again, i feel so shy. Because yes i love this, i love this closeness i feel with Him, and yet i feel so shy admitting it. “Yes Daddy.” i can’t seem to say anything more, as i feel myself getting ready to cum again. “I’m going to cum in this ass baby… right… now.” i feel Daddy fill me up, and i cum with Him. Feeling my ass clench around His cock. He leans down on top of me. Kissing my neck and back. Holding me. He says in my ear. “I love when my baby spends the night.”

A polygamous heart?

Posted in my thoughts by essence @ Feb 26, 2009 - Comments (4)

i’ve been thinking about this of late. What defines someone as being polygamous. Is it someone who has the capacity to love many openly and honestly? Or is it someone who doesn’t get what they need from just one person and needs numerous others to fill them up?

i read many blogs online, few i really comment on. i read of those that are poly, i read of those that are the secondary to a primary that doesn’t even know there is a secondary. Is that polygamy? To me that seems more of someone that is cheating. They can’t be honest and they hide and sneak. i don’t believe that to be someone that is poly at all.

i guess if someone isn’t getting what they need from their significant other, they need to be honest and communicate these to them. Rather than seek it out elsewhere, and well if they can’t do that, they should walk away from that person. Just my opinion. i don’t believe someone who sneaks, lies and cheats to be poly. Some just can’t commit, and it’s the thrill of lying and sneaking that’s the nature.

Daddy & i did have one experience with another couple. It was hot in it’s own way. It was exciting to experience together. It was something we mutually agreed upon and so we did it together and it was something that didn’t involve emotions. it was purely a sexual experience. i’m not sure what that falls under, but it was a something that perked our curiousity, we talked openly to each other about it. We both wanted to experience this and we then moved forward with it. Would i do it again? i can’t say yes or no, it’s not something i think about a whole lot. i reflect on our experience and i will say the time after that, i never felt so close to Daddy. it definitely bonded us closer and i think it was due to the fact we were so openly honest about wanting this experience, moving forward together and sharing it together.

i don’t believe i am not one of a poly nature though, and i don’t think the experience we had made me ever think i was poly but i have cheated in the past. Both times it was because i was not getting what i needed from my relationship and i will state, i wanted out of that relationship. i do regret my actions, for cheating before i left. i should have left first but that is in the past and i can’t change it. Those days are over for me really, i want stability, i want comfortable and i was security. i want honesty, trust and value on my love.

i for one, would rather have them leave me, then to lie and cheat on me. i’m worth more than that, and if someone can’t value that, then walk away. Don’t waste my time and let me move forward and find what you need elsewhere.

Ouch

Posted in my thoughts by essence @ Feb 23, 2009 - Comments (1)

So i have been getting a Brazilian for almost 2 yrs now. Recently, i have done them on my own. i tried GiGi’s creme wax this last time… yuck, don’t like it. i felt like these girls…. i prefer the honey wax, and that’s what i’ll be going back too. (also, i have an in with a distributor with a top line) ahhh yes he’s getting a call today too!

i always get asked “doesn’t it hurt?” well of course it does! but the more you do it, the less hair that comes back and really now, it doesn’t hurt at all.

This video always cracks me up… i remember that first wax… lol

New Beginnings

Posted in my thoughts by essence @ Feb 20, 2009 - Comments (3)

That’s what i want. i want to leave the past behind and move forward.

In the last month or so, i have walked out of a couple of friendships. One was with a long time friend from childhood, and the other was a long time online friend. Reasons for having done so? i felt empty. It began to feel one-sided, and i just stopped communicating. Easy? no, they were both dear friends for a long time. Common thread? both very narcissistic. i don’t have the energy for it anymore. The one from online loves drama, and i don’t want any of it, especially online drama. ugh i hate that crap.

So i decided i need new friends. i’ll admit, my dearest best friend, aside from Daddy, is a gay man. Frankly he fills all my girlfriend needs, we go shopping, we laugh, talk on the phone, you know all the things a girl needs and can’t get from the Man in her life. He really has been there for me like no other friend has. Yet, sometimes a girlfriend is nice to have.

i haven’t been here much. i have felt kind of lost and out of sorts. i want to get back on track. This weekend i want to reconnect with Daddy, get us back to our journey together. Our businesses are both booming and keeping busy, which is good. i am looking forward to some one on one time. Talk, reconnect, and have some wild sex.

Everyone has bumps in the road. mine just made me immobile for awhile, but i want to move forward. Get back to where we were. i love Daddy more than i thought i could love someone, and i don’t want to be held prisoner behind my walls of protection. Really those are more harmful then living and feeling. i’ve been down that road before, i’ve seen that side of things, i don’t want it. it’s a lonely place to be.

So i am going to start by posting some of my stories again. i think that’s a good start as any. Get away from negative energies.

essence

Random thoughts

Posted in Dark days by essence @ Feb 17, 2009 - Comments (1)

i have come here alot to write… about what? i don’t know. i still feel a lil raw about what took place. i feel like i have no one to confide these things too. really when i think about it… i have no one to confide too. No one in my world here would ever understand the type of relationship Daddy & i have. Most of my friends here don’t do online, except for surfing and well… what most use it for. It’s hard to carry around these feelings i have and no one to talk to about them.

i know i could write them out here.. but i sit down and well… nothing comes out. i freeze. i’m not sure why… no one i know, aside from Daddy, knows about this blog. i just clam up. Part of me has done that with Daddy too. i put myself out there like i never have before, let my guard down, let Daddy in closer than anyone. i feel a familiar wall around me again. That protection of .. if no one comes in… no one can hurt me ever again. i feel like i am in a daze, going through the motions and just merely existing….

How do i get back to good? How do i let it all wash away? How do i find that comfort zone again? How do i allow myself to love and be loved without barriers? i’m sad today… sad and the free part of myself that has ran into a closet to hide from everything and everyone….

Trust and respect

Posted in my thoughts by essence @ Feb 8, 2009 - Comments (1)

i have been online for about 10 years now. Daddy and i met online actually. Frankly i have maintained only 2 friendships with women from that time. We talk in IM or on the phone. Although, the only online thing i really do now is just my blog, i don’t do chatrooms, actually i can’t stand them. i’ve observed quite a lot of things over the years in and out of a chatroom.

The one thing that bothers me… is the lack of respect others show to someone that is in a committed in a real life relationship. Boundaries are disregarded and people forget that there is someone living, breathing that FEELS. Yes i admit, i have a jealous streak, yes i admit i have trust issues, but i also realize those trust issues are MY issues and i can easily project them. It’s not that i don’t trust Daddy, i do, i don’t trust others motives out there. Sometimes it all seems like a game, to see if they can win the big prize. And just what is that prize to them? That they can worm their way in between a relationship? i personally at this stage in my life, just do not understand this. It all reminds me of my teenage daughter’s troubled friends really.

Daddy has a lot of online clients, some are from chat rooms. i am always amazed at the women throwing themselves at Him. It bothers me that they do so with so little respect for me. They are lonely souls who just want attention. i’ve been down that road, i understand. i’ve been through a lot with online relationships, discrepancies. i’m no saint, but i’ve come to a point in my life where i feel sad for some of these people, but on the other hand, everyone has the power to move on and out of a situation that isn’t working for them. Online is an escape from reality for most, and can get easy stuck there. i think most get confused when fantasy and reality cross lines or they are looking for their knight on a white horse to come rescue them… It rarely happens.

Daddy & i have experimented with another couple a few years ago. In that instance, i did not feel insecure whatsoever. It was something we discussed, we shared, and we laugh about now. We had a curiosity, we communicated, and we both decided we would not share that with anyone.

He got into a conversation with a young girl and He told her. She had come to Him for advice. i was hurt that He so openly shared this intimate secret of ours with a stranger, when He so adamantly wouldn’t even let me write about it on this blog… anonymously even. i couldn’t understand and really, i still don’t why He would have done that. i felt betrayed, hurt and i felt a violation of trust was broken.

i don’t like how this has made me feel. Not. At. All. He regrets it, He’s apologized and He sees where i find this as a violation of trust. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. i have forgiven but i remember and it takes time for wounds to heal.

i know He loves me, i know He would never want to cause me pain in that way. We’ve had some really hot sex since then too… but when i am working or driving to work… this creeps into my head. This conversation with her, her coming to Him for relationship advice and then turning into a conversation where He would share one of our most intimate experiences. i struggle with understanding. maybe i’ll never understand and i just have to let go of it … and in time… i suppose i will. i love Him, more than i have ever loved anyone. He tells me the same, He shows me that too. i know deep down, i am silly for being insecure.

How long do you want to be loved?

Posted in my thoughts by essence @ Feb 3, 2009 - Comments (0)

is forever enough?